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You know what I hate? I hate people who can write essays a bit at a time. What kind of psychopath do you have to be to do that? How can you just do a part of an essay then walk away? I mean, come on, surely it’s all or nothing, right? Who actually plans this shit?
I don’t think I’ve ever planned anything in my life, and I got good grades. But now my lecturers are wanting to see my essay plan a week in advance as if it’s some kind of job interview. Like I know what the fuck I’m gonna write before I write it? What if I change my mind? What if my ideas are shit? God, I hate this! Why do I have to narrow myself down to something before I’ve sat down and thought about it?
Don’t look at me like that. I am aware that ‘planning’ is the thinking about it stage, you can fuck off with your judgemental care bare stare. I know. But it’s not the same, OK?
When I sit down to write, I sit down to write. I have to be in the right mood and you don’t get into that mood by planning a week in advance. You don’t. I don’t care what you say; I don’t work like that. Only weirdos and anal retentives do.
Give me a crate of energy drinks and an all-nighter every time. That’s how I work. That’s my style. I work best when I can see the foxes raiding the bins and listen to the owls hooting at the moon. My brain turns on at night, OK?
What do you mean I have a caffeine problem? Fuck you. It’s the only socially acceptable drug and I happen to like it. Screw you. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have an essay plan to invent.
Fuck people telling me how to live my life. I’ll just hand something in and make up the real thing later.