Dear Diary: The Best Thing About Going on a Date Is…

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Day 4

Guess what? Chrissy wants to go on a date again! It really WAS a date and lesbian sex is AWESOME! I never knew I could have that many orgasms at once! Holy fuck. I didn’t even care that my flat mates could probably hear half of what was happening, it was good enough to share!

Man, she’s sooo hot! Like, oh my God, so hot. I’ve never met anyone who looks just as sexy in clothes as she does out of them. I’m the luckiest girl alive! And I’ve discovered that I have a thing for surfer chicks. She said she’d take me down to the beach next week if the weather’s good. I’m gonna learn how to surf! OMG I’m so excited!

Fuck Uni, hot surfer chicks are the way forward! This is what life’s about! LIVING!

Dear Diary: The Problem With Planning Is…

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Day 3

So, it turns out, I’m an accidental genius. Yeah, I know, I’m sooo modest about it, but the professor loved my plan. Like, really loved it. I made that shit up in five minutes on the bus ride to class! There’s no way it’s as good as he said.

But the problem now is that I can’t not write what I ‘planned’. If I turn up with something different, I’m screwed. I’m damned if I do and damned if I don’t. I have NO idea how to write to an essay plan and I really have no idea how to explain it to him if I don’t.

Fuck, I’ve screwed myself, haven’t I?

What do I do?

Diary… Help… 

Yeah, yeah, you’re right. I should just stop over-thinking this and go out with Chrissy instead. I’m pretty sure it’s a date and, hell, maybe getting laid will help fix my work-ethic?

Hey, it could happen!

Dear Diary: The Essay Issue…

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Day 2

Dear Diary,

You know what I hate? I hate people who can write essays a bit at a time. What kind of psychopath do you have to be to do that? How can you just do a part of an essay then walk away? I mean, come on, surely it’s all or nothing, right? Who actually plans this shit?

I don’t think I’ve ever planned anything in my life, and I got good grades. But now my lecturers are wanting to see my essay plan a week in advance as if it’s some kind of job interview. Like I know what the fuck I’m gonna write before I write it? What if I change my mind? What if my ideas are shit? God, I hate this! Why do I have to narrow myself down to something before I’ve sat down and thought about it?

Don’t look at me like that. I am aware that ‘planning’ is the thinking about it stage, you can fuck off with your judgemental care bare stare. I know. But it’s not the same, OK?

When I sit down to write, I sit down to write. I have to be in the right mood and you don’t get into that mood by planning a week in advance. You don’t. I don’t care what you say; I don’t work like that. Only weirdos and anal retentives do. 

Give me a crate of energy drinks and an all-nighter every time. That’s how I work. That’s my style. I work best when I can see the foxes raiding the bins and listen to the owls hooting at the moon. My brain turns on at night, OK? 

What do you mean I have a caffeine problem? Fuck you. It’s the only socially acceptable drug and I happen to like it. Screw you. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have an essay plan to invent. 

Fuck people telling me how to live my life. I’ll just hand something in and make up the real thing later.

Dear Diary: Let’s figure this out together!

Dear Diary,

So, my flat mate got me this as a joke for our secret santa this year. It has a care bear on the front and the flimsiest heart shaped lock you’ve ever seen keeping it closed, but the jokes on her. I like care bears and now I know how to pick a lock with a paperclip (I’ve already lost the key).

Before I left for Uni, my shrink suggested that I start a diary and, quite frankly, last year was hell, so… Why the fuck not give it a go? I’m halfway across the country from my family and have fuck all else to do with my evenings. Why not see if she was onto something?

Besides, it’s rude not to use gifts.

And speaking of gifts, everyone here seems to be obsessed with the idea that ‘life’s a gift that we all have to appreciate’. Really? Like, if it’s a gift, then who gave it to us? How do we use it properly? Where’s the manual? Did anyone get a receipt? Because, quite frankly, the same people that keep insisting that it’s a ‘gift’ keep complaining about how much they hate it.

I don’t wanna become one of those fucks. I wanna figure this shit out, so how about we make a deal? I’ll use you to figure out what the fuck I’m gonna do with my life and you keep my secrets, how does that sound?

Deal?

Yeah?

Cool. That sounds good to me. Yeah, I like that. This feels right. Thanks. You’re a good listener, you know that? Fuck, I just wrote that. I really need to go to bed. I’ll talk to you again tomorrow. 

Night.

And if you want to hear far more naughty samples of my erotic creations, click here!

Happy Holidays!

I’d just like to say a HUGE thank you to everyone that’s joined me on this journey this year. It’s meant the world to me and I look forward to what’s to come for 2022!

I have big plans in the work and I’m happy to announce that I’ll be including a lot of story readings and new products for everyone to explore.

And if you want to hear far more naughty samples of my erotic creations, click here!

Morning Thought: Pace Yourself

When the work is piling up, and it seems like it’s all too much, remember to take a deep breath and pace yourself. Space things out and reward yourself for reaching milestones. You can do it. It’s all OK. Trust me, I’ve been there myself and I know how it feels. You will get through it. It will all work out OK in the end.

And if you want to hear far more naughty samples of my erotic creations, click here!

Morning Thought: How to Connect with Characters in Erotica

My darlings, sometimes, the struggle is real. Sometimes you just can’t seem to get into your characters heads. And sometimes, you just plain don’t like them! Just because it’s erotica that we’re writing, doesn’t mean the characters are any less in-depth. In fact, they have to be MORE relatable than ever. So, here’s how I solve that particular problem!

And if you want to hear far more naughty samples of my erotic creations, click here!

Morning Thought: How to get Started in EROTICA!

Want to get started writing erotica but you aren’t sure how? I’ve got you covered. Here are my top tips for breaking into the erotic writing scene!

And if you want to hear far more naughty samples of my erotic creations, click here!

Morning Thought: The Key to Erotica

What would you say the key to erotica is? The Characters? The plot? The fact that there having sex? Well, my darlings, over my years of writing, I’ve found one thing that transcends all the rest, and it’s something that so many people miss.

And if you want to hear far more naughty samples of my erotic creations, click here!

Morning Thought: How Are YOUR Lenses Tinted?

The way we see the world is, without exception, tinted. We have our own particular filters that we see the world through, and so will our characters.

And if you want to hear far more naughty samples of my erotic creations, click here!